8.23.2004 • 10:40 PM

Elvis has left the building

Another page in the Elvis story has passed into legend. Concert announcer Al Dvorin died yesterday in a car crash. Dvorin is the man credited with the line, "Elvis has left the building." So I'm wondering...is he now "dead like Elvis"?

8.19.2004 • 4:58 PM

Enjoy this Precious Day

I'm probably going to sound like one of those "Send this email to all your friends" spams, but frankly I don't care. If you are thinking about today being just like any day, please take a minute to stop & enjoy the life you have. I'm typing this in between being at the ICU unit discussing DNR orders for someone I love. She's hooked up to a breathing tube, so she could only write "Is this any way to live?" Well, think about that. Live like today is your last. For me, living means laughing, which is why I choose to document all these crazy thoughts. It's as much for me as it is for anyone who bothers to read it. For a moment or two I can stop and laugh and not take life so seriously. Because when you are faced with LIFE, whether it's the beginning or end of life... you'll be glad you did.

• 1:16 AM

Hareballs , Raw Meat, Toupees, & Soylent Green.

Random items? Not in my world!

I have a gay cat & rabbit. Yes, I'm so proud that my furry boyz Bandar (cat) & Oscar (bunny) have found love and Fusion. They like to sit & lick each other. Bandar has also been getting more hairballs / hareballs than usual lately & I'm not sure if it's from his fur or Oscar's. In either case, I have switched his food to hairball formula. He's not happy and has been meowing non-stop for days telling me he wants some real food.

On a seemingly unrelated note, I'm pretty grossed out by raw meat, which of course Bandar would love. I'll eat meat but I don't like to think about where it comes from. I've been pretty vocal about this lately, especially as I was picking a million bones out of the fish my brother caught. Crabs are no problem, but it's something about the bones that I find pretty repulsive. Yet I work with a "Porkchop" and I was very amused by the magnet set at right. I wanted to buy it for my friend Carl who loves raw meat.

Carl also has a god awful haircut, like a reverse mullet (it's business in the back & party on the top... a high & tight) so I suggested a reverse toupee. I went to my ol' Google toolbar & found the following very amusing link:

http://www.brokennewz.com/entertainment/toupee.asp

Ah yes. Soylent Green. Classic movie if you haven't seen it. AND it just happened to come on late night A&E tonight! Why the need for Soylent Green? With a population of 40 million in NYC, there ain't enough raw meat to go around!! SPOILER..."Soylent Green is people!" Now I'm wondering if my cat just wants to eat some people. He eats everything else.

So it all comes together. This is a very important formula in my new new math "Aphid" system (coming soon, I promise). Have fun calculating the y.

Toupees(Hairballs) / Soylent Green = y Carls of Raw Meat

8.10.2004 • 9:00 PM

Quote of the Day

"Bling moves me to tears."
-- Jai, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

8.09.2004 • 10:13 AM

I'm a Wheel Watcher

I just discovered that the Game Show Network shows old reruns of Wheel of Fortune. Suddenly I'm transported back to the days of Morris Day & the Time (the first time). Vanna is in a bright blue ruffley dress and WHITE PUMPS! The scary part is both of those items are back in style. Pat looks so young. 2 of the contestants look like my Mom did back in the day, wearing dresses with big blocks of color, shoulder pads & matching plastic earrings. This was high style at the time, inspired by Dallas & Dynasty. The other guy has a mullet-y hairdo & a bowtie! He reminds me of a magician. I'm digging the tooth marks from the comb & hairspray, & the side part is a nice touch. He could have gotten a perm like the other lady, that was extra sassy, sorta like a chia head. Even Vanna has a mullety hair do.

OOOH THEY ARE GOING TO "PRIZE LAND"!!!

Lavender furniture?
BMW?
Diamond & Gold furniture?
$25,000?

I still want the Dalmatian. I'll have to check eBay.