12.31.2003 • 6:21 PM

Mullet Ponderings

While working at Brookstone this holiday I spotted perhaps one of the greatest mullets in the world. The Glitter Mullet. The owner of this fantastic hairdo was in her early 50s, still wearing her glasses from the early 80s. Her hair was perfectly styled and sprayed into place with an entire can of glitter hairspray. The light of the track lighting shining down on it gave the desired disco effect. I was delighted she stayed in the store for so long so she could brighten my day. (And thanks to Disco Pablo for our Fab Style tip: Spray glitter hairspray onto any item of clothing or your skin for that instant disco effect. Instant sheen that washes clean!!)

Maryland has a new state law that will suspend your license if you pump your gas & drive away without paying. Kudos to their marketing department for warning me of this with a photo of a MD license of Mary Sample, the pumping-and-fleeing-mullethead from Glen Burnie.

Johnny Depp's True Hollywoood Story showed a shot of him during his 21 Jump Street Days with his mini-mullet in a little ponytail in back. The little tuff in the back reminded me of a rat tail. I had forgotten how versatile this hairstyle could be.

Scientists might have found the world's longest snake, but I found the world's longest rat tail. I spotted a braided on at least 5 feet long on a woman yesterday. If only I had had my camera.

Happy Y2K4!!

12.22.2003 • 2:13 PM

Would you like a gift reciept?

I've been deep into the scary realm of Christmas at Towsontown Mall this season. I'm working at Brookstone again for the holidays. The other morning I was going to get my caffeine fix at Gloria Jeans and I thought how nice and peaceful the mall was without the actual shoppers ruining everything. "Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the mall, not a kiosk was open, not even the nail stall". (The manicure people harass me every day so I was delighted they were still closed). I'm working on my version of the 12 days of Christmas to include my favorite retail things: gift reciepts, "could I get your zip code", and "sorry, we are out of gift wrap" (how lazy are you that you can't wrap your own gift, I'm not your personal elf), my favorite totals that I repeat a million times -- $31.50, $52.50, $103.95, and "you can get a touch screen clock for only $12.50 with any purchase. Yes, I know the sign says only purchases over $50, but really, I'll sell it to you anyway. Buy a battery and I'll sell it. We have a thousand of them. It shows temperture, time, date and timer. Yes, it has an alarm. Runs on one AAA battery. No, it does not light up -- what do you expect, it's $12.50 for god's sake!!"